Smash of Dans

I’m a creature of habit…

And I have some bad ones. I play mobile games when I should be writing. One in particular, I won’t mention by name, but let’s call it “Smash of Dans” just for convenience sake.

Sorry for all of you Dans out there.

These games are addicting. They lure you in with these free to play models which start off awesome, but then as the game progresses, you become a victim to all these people that pay to play.

It’s the endless cost + reward = addiction cycle.

If you’re not familiar with the game, let me break it down for you.

Use resources to build a base à Build an army to rape and pillage other bases and steal their resources à Upgrade your base and army à repeat…

That’s it. That’s all it takes, and your brain goes “ooh. Shiny”

Now there are some issues I do have with the game, besides the getting my ass kicked by better (pronounced richer) players, and I figure since this game is the bane of my existence, I would discuss those things here.

1.The builders. These guys can build anything. And I mean With little more than a hammer. It makes you wonder why you never see him use a saw.


I mean it’s there. RIGHT F’n THERE!

2. My army is full of unknowing kamikaze dudes. I mean they go out there and they lay down life and limb and rescue each other, stick together through thick and thin to the very end. My problem is that they never come back. Those AWOL mother truckers didn’t die. I watched the whole time. Why do I have to train an entire new army after every battle? I should be able to get the survivors back, am I right???

3. These chicks!


Whenever it’s time to fight, they just hide. So do the builders and… oh… everybody else!


Look at all these flying gremlin dudes and these badass assassin chicks. Just standing there around the campfire telling ghost stories and singing “It’s a Small World”. They’ll go lay down their lives in a moment’s notice, but can you expect them to defend their own castle? Hell no! Ungrateful peasants. I’m gonna raise their taxes.  Then maybe I’ll have enough gold to finish upgrading my walls.

4. Speaking of walls. Can they be any more expensive? I mean really? I spend more gold on walls then I did anywhere else. Maybe if I had used it to buy some more faithful slave peasants, they’d come back after battles.

5. The matchmaking is good for the most part, except for the fact that I’m apparently looking in some foggy ass places.


I mean really? Dude. We all know that foggy mornings are the perfect time to sneak up and slice a builders throat.

With all of these things, you can obviously tell how a writer like me can get so hooked on such a repetitious (I totally just wanted to see if that was a real word and it its) game…



In other news: I have just finished an awesome scene in my work in progress, reaching a major plot point and simultaneously tying in another planned novel in what I think is an amazing scene.

I reached exactly 5,000 words last week, which is part of a quota I’ve set for myself, AND I wrote 3 blog posts last week, another quota I demand for myself.

Time to check off another one in the Win column, folks.

Stay tuned in, and my loyal readers will all get first dibs on the novel I’m cookin up, and all others in the oven.