Novel’s Prologue. 1st Draft. Critics Welcome.


Alright. So as some of you know, I’m writing my first novel. This also means that I have little to no fan base. If you’re reading this, then you are either: 1) The newest fan of my writing 2) A returning fan. Or 3) Just passing through.

In either case, this is my attempt to gain more fans, and appease the masses (all 12 of you) who are demanding to read more of my novel. The following is the prologue, mind you a 1st draft, of my Work in Progress. If you like it, please comment. If you don’t, also comment.

Last note: There are some formatting issues with the indent that doesn’t transfer over. But here it is.

*Drum roll, please*



            “You gun’ let that boy out drink you?” Murry slapped Eldor on his broad hairy shoulder as the fat oaf chugged the ale, beer leaking from the corners of his mouth and down his thick beard as he slopped it down.

            The dark wooden table—a loose assembly of heavy boards and rusty nails—that sat in the corner of the room between Eldor and Laden was littered with empty mugs and puddles of foam and beer.  A small crowd gathered around the two men, cheering each as they drank pint after pint. Eldor, the challenger, slammed his mug down as he swallowed the last bit of his ale to the roar of the small gathering.

            “Felice, more pints”, Eldor demanded to the large breasted bar wench as he belched. The count was twelve to twelve. Eldor was sloshed, but still sitting upright while Laden—a smaller farmer of a man with a patch over his eye—had a look of confidence as he saw the man across from him shake away the buzz.

            The lanterns on the walls had plenty of oil to burn, but the candles were burning out one by one. The smell of must and beer and horse shit filled The Broken Mule.

           Felice waded her way through the crowd of men and whores with four more mugs from the bar. “You boys gunna pay your tab tanight?” she asked as her meat arms sat the beers down. “Or should father roll it ta tomorra?”

          Murry tossed her two silvers. “This oughta cover the drinks and your company tonight sweetheart.” The group of men and their paid company let out a low laugh.

           “Hunny, have ya seen the size of meh? I charge by da pound.” Felice retorted as took the two silvers and turned, making sure to pop her big rear end up as she spun around to make the point clear. They all roared with laughter at Murry’s expense as he tugged his beard while enjoying the view as she walked away. Everyone had a beer or a woman. Some had both. The night was full of laughter and music. Until it wasn’t.

            The bar room that was growing dimmer and darker with each burned out candle suddenly glowed brighter than even the sunniest day.  Out of thin air, a floating ball of light appeared between the two drunks. Everyone was silent and not a single person moved. Eldor was the first to muster up the courage, no doubt alcohol induced, to speak.

            “What… what is it?” His eyes squinting behind his raised arm as he looked into the orb.

            If anyone had an answer, they didn’t have the chance to respond. Out of the light and like a cannon shot a man. The impact of his body leveled the table between Eldor and Laden, breaking glasses and splashing beer with a violent crash.  Then, just as it appeared, the ball of light vanished—leaving only the man’s body as evidence.

           Drunks and whores alike encircled the body and stared, trying to find some sense of what they just witnessed.

           “Unggghhhh.” A low groan came from the man as he slowly rolled to his back and opened his eyes.

             His clothes weren’t like any they had seen before. His hair and skin were clean. His boots were leather, but not like any they could make. Murry reached down, grabbed the man under the arms and pulled him to his feet. He stood two inches taller than Murry, and slightly larger too. The stranger turned and looked him dead in the eyes before mumbling something incoherently.

             “What you say, partner?” Murry asked as he let go of the man, and put his ear closer to the stranger’s lips.

             “Juh… Jackson.” He whispered before collapsing unconsciously to the ground.


Well ladies and gentlefolk, let me hear your opinions. And as always, have a good day!

Also, you can read Chapter One here.